i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
