I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
