no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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