I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
