Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
even my farts smell like vagina
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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