I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
