dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Randomize
