i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
