He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize