I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
