she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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