We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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