...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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