dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
