Swine flu. Run for my life!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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