Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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