she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
