yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize