I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
