do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
