I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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