you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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