Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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