What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
