So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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