omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
