belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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