Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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