i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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