Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
