For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It was confusing and full of hummus
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
