K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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