I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just want to make out with him forever
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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