so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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