Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
