So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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