No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
