I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
