You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
