Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
