And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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