It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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