i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
