End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
