you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
