so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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