So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
