Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm at about main and main street
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
