what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
