Have you finally orgasmed yet?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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