I'm eating all of the evidence.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
