I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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