And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
