THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize