She said her name was "party"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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