her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
