it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
