I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
