I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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