i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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