that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
