we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
