I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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