Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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