She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize