is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
