I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i barfeds in our rink
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
