Banned from zoo.
Again?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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